Ramping up your Visibility
It’s one of those things about online business that can scare the bejaysus out of you – being visible. Letting people see your content, your image, your face – this is especially true for women.
Back in the day…
I grew up in the 1990’s where horrible weekly UK magazines (or ragmags as I call them now!) would publicly shame and mock famous women’s ‘cellulite’ legs or pretend to care if a celebrity was too thin, or (in their opinion) too fat. I watched as Chris Evans bullied and cajoled Spice Girl Victoria Beckham into standing on a scale on TGIF, a popular Friday night show on Channel 4, to see what she weighed - it was the most horrendous treatment of celebrity women seen as ‘commodities’. The pressure on women to be ‘thin and perfect’ continues to this day.
Conditioning
This kind of ‘conditioning’ starts from day one - defined as the process of training or accustoming a person to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances. It's this kind of lifelong ‘conditioning’ that will make you second guess yourself and doubt if you should go on camera for fear of what you might look like, for fear of being judged, or the fear that you might say something wrong or even be cancelled.
As women, we’ve spent our lives being told by society that girls should be sweet and pretty and quiet, and not to rock the boat – harking back to neanderthal times when women would align themselves with the strong men of a tribe to ensure protection and safety. It’s in our DNA.
You see this conditioning in the high street – check out the boys and girls clothes in any department store – the girls clothes say things like Pretty and Be Kind in pastel colours while the boys clothes have slogans like King of the Castle or Be Cool, and show images of astronauts and superheroes.
And then we venture into our businesses, full of optimism and hope, wanting to do good in the world and share our talents and skills, only to find we haven’t got the confidence to put ourselves out there for people to find us. We are filled with dread at the thought of an Instagram Reel or promoting our latest offer online.
A blemish on our face can send us into a panic attack if we’d planned to shoot a video that day (speaking from personal experience on that one!). We get laryngitis the day before we plan a webinar or live event, we think we’ll annoy people by posting too much, we tell ourselves we’re not good enough for this online business lark, and the cycle continues.
So what can we do to help ourselves become more visible without throwing our comfort zone completely out the window, and why should we be more visible anyway?
First things first, we have to change the narrative of what we tell ourselves. We need to listen to those negative tapes in our head and be aware of what they are saying – the unconscious mind believes everything you tell it, so if you say ‘I’m not good enough to run a business’ it’ll believe you and look for evidence to prove you right. We have to muster the courage to change these narratives. This will take time, especially If you’ve been repeating these negative stories for many years, but it can be done.
We can change our perception of ourselves over time by repeating more empowering mantras to replace the negative tropes – for example if you’re saying to yourself right now ‘I’m annoying people by posting too much’ you can replace that with ‘My audience love what I have to say’, or if you currently say ‘I’m not good at selling’ you can repeat the affirmation ‘Creating and promoting my offers is being of service to others’ .
Saying these positive mantras out loud will help you manage the negative thoughts better. One way to do this is to create a few mantras or affirmations to counter the negative thoughts you have so you can use these to boost your confidence and help your unconscious mind find evidence for the positive things you tell yourself rather than the negative ones.
Reframing those beliefs
Start reframing what you say to yourself to kickstart your venture into being more visible and look for evidence to prove you are good enough to have a business and you can sell your offers with more confidence. Repeating affirmations every day might sound a bit woo, but your unconscious mind is listening, and is taking on board what you say to yourself – if it’s negative, then it’ll stay that way, but if it’s positive, then you’ll discover more evidence to prove the positive.
Another reframe of the fear of being visible is to identify your personal brand – who are you? Brand You is all about connecting with people online and offline, showing people who you are, deciding how you want to make people feel when they meet you online or in real life, sharing your stories, your experience, your history, your quirks and idiosyncrasies, your voice, your personality and your energy.
Sharing is caring!
And the great thing is – you get to choose how much of that you show to others – you don’t need to tell your deepest darkest secrets, but you can share funny stories, stories about your business behind the scenes, about growing up, about the things you feel passionate about. It doesn’t have to be too vulnerable, you can start with the small stuff, the funny stuff – in the past I’ve shown photos of my beloved cat Boris (now in the kitty heaven in the sky) and my gorgeous Labrador Bowie and his madness – these are great ways to connect with other dog and cat lovers and show my human side and what I get up to behind the scenes. Sharing things that will resonate with your ideal audience shows your personality and your humanity.
See your stories as ways to connect with your clients, not where you have to tell all the family secrets! A great story will put your client in your shoes as you tell it. It tells people who you are, what you love, what you stand for in life and business, and the challenges you’ve faced and how you overcame them. Tell every story with your client in mind – what is their struggle or challenge right now? What do they want to have in their life and what is the obstacle? What needs to happen to bridge the gap from their challenges to their goals? How can your ideal client see themselves in your story? What emotional connection can you make with your audience?
Photo by Rain Bennett on Unsplash
The Confidence-Competence Loop
Often, people think they must have the confidence first before they start on their visibility journey, but actually what they need is courage. The courage to start, the courage to write that blog, share that post, create that podcast, press the red button on Reels.
Courage leads to competence and capability, which then leads to consistency, which THEN leads to confidence.
We talk about confidence a lot, but sometimes find it hard to define. There are two definitions of confidence - the Oxford Dictionary defines confidence as being 'a state of certainty about a fact or event', in other words to be sure of something. A second definition also includes a state of certainty, but touches on self-assurance and being certain about your own abilities - a state of self-confidence.
I wish it were easier to be confident, but it has to start with the courage within. It has to start with you ditching the people pleasing and fear of judgement and doing something that lights you up – no matter what. But that confidence can only come from being competent at visibility in whatever form it takes for you. The easiest way to get visible is to embody the model of the Confidence-Competence Loop - a feedback loop, where competence creates confidence and having that confidence creates more competence. This feedback loop means if we believe we can do something, we'll take action to achieve that goal. This action then increases our competence, which then increases our confidence, which encourages us to take more action.
Here are the 4 C’s of The Confidence-Competence Loop
1. Courage - taking that first courageous step outside your comfort zone
2. Competence - developing your competence or capability so it becomes second nature
3. Consistency - being so consistent in your work that it becomes part of your identity
4. Confidence - all of which cumulates into confidence in yourself and your talents.
Let’s get started on this loop - write a list of all the evidence you have to show that you are courageous, that you are capable and can be consistent in areas of your life. Think of your life experiences and all the things you’ve been through that make you the person you are today, the knowledge and skills you have, the training you’ve done, the things you can help others with. This exercise is really powerful for the unconscious mind as it will always believe the things you say to yourself – so if it’s powerful positive words, it’ll believe them over the negative things we berate ourselves with.
When you believe in yourself and your capabilities first, then you’ll find it easier to connect with others, and show people what you can help them with. Focusing on strengths instead of identifying the weaknesses removes those blocks and help us improve our confidence.
Resonate and repel
Visibility in your business has to be bigger than your fears and the worry of what others think. The great thing about working with people is that you don’t have to appeal to everyone! When you share stories of your life, your experience and your quirks and personality, you’ll resonate with some and repel others, and that’s OK. It took me a long time to realise that, but eventually the penny dropped - there is great freedom (and relief!) in that!
Being visible to the right people is a huge win for your business and your confidence once you find your stride. Don’t worry about what others are doing, just do you! I’ve often rambled on about topics like buying bathroom tiles and watching snooker tournaments because they are the life experiences I have, and I can share them if I want to. But starting with the business stuff and telling parts of your story as you grow means people get to know, like and trust you more. They get to see YOU. The online world is a blessing and a curse all at the same time, overwhelming and freeing all at once.
Some days you’ll have crickets on your posts and other days you’ll truly resonate with your audience. Knowing your audience, knowing what they need, how they feel, what they worry about and how they see the world is a huge advantage. Telling your audience about your mission and vision in business, your values, about the clients you love to work with – this will attract more of the right client to you.
How often and what type?
You get to decide how often you want to be visible. If 5 times a week is too much you can start with one or twice a week sharing your offers, stories and quotes or funny memes, just enough to get you used to going online. After a while as this becomes easier for you, you might venture into a reel or two, or a live Insta post, again it starts with courage, then competence, then consistency, then confidence!
You also have control over the type of visibility you want – it doesn’t have to be 5 reels a week with you front and centre – it can be a blog, a podcast, a social media post, a networking event, a newsletter with a list of blogs or references you think your audience will find useful. If you are reluctant to be in front of the camera, but you’d like to try it, build yourself up to it slowly. Try practicing on your phone first, get comfortable with the settings on Insta, Tiktok, Facebook live, or YouTube. Until you press publish, no one gets to see it!
Remind yourself that your content is helpful, that you are being of service to your audience – being visible is not about judging yourself, or wondering if you will be judged, it’s about sharing your offers, your brand, your opinions, your personality with the world. And that’s a good thing because you are unique, no one has your opinions, quirks, or life experience.
My lovely friend Claire Gallagher of Claire Creative sums up the ‘how often to post’ question perfectly below:
www.clairecreative.com
Sharing good content regularly and starting conversations is key
Decide what platform you want to use, where your ideal client is hanging out online, and start sharing content that audience will be interested in and will find helpful. The word ‘regularly’ is whatever that means to you and depends on your schedule to post online – it could be once a week or 5 times a week.
Starting conversations is how you use your content to engage with your audience and build a relationship with them. Asking them questions as part of your content and answering their queries is a great way to build connections with them. Telling stories through your content is a natural way to get your audiences attention. Humans like stories as they help us make sense of the world, and the more specific your story, the more relatable it is to your audience. Stories are remembered much more than a list of facts and figures, that’s because stories garner emotions. We feel them, we empathise, we laugh, we feel sad, we connect on a human level with a story. Customers are also more likely to recommend brands and companies that they feel an emotional connection to.
Set your Visibility Goals and Intentions
Photo by Ghen Mar Cuaño on Unsplash
So, how can you be more visible? How can you share your story without fear of judgement? A good start would be to set an intention and create an action plan. By setting an intention you are outlining what you plan to do and that you are creating a shift in your mindset about being visible. You’re not willing to hide anymore, and what you have to say will resonate with your audience.
First things first get clear on how you want to become more visible. What are your visibility goals – is it writing more blogs, doing more reels, starting a podcast, going to a women’s networking event, doing regular Facebook or Instagram lives? Write down your intention – ‘I want to be more visible because…’ – what will being more visible help you achieve?
Then you’ll need to share your intentions with someone who supports you and will check in from time to tome to keep you accountable for your visibility – perhaps a family member or friend, or a business buddy
Then it’s time to take action – start writing the blog and publish it, practice doing a reel or an Insta live, research local women’s network, get the equipment you need to start your podcast - baby steps until it feels comfortable
Finally celebrate the wins! Publishing that blog, starting the podcast and confirming some guest speakers for it, going to a networking event, putting up your first reel. Be proud of the person you are becoming with intent and commitment to your visibility cause!
Avoiding overwhelm
To avoid overwhelm with your visibility, pick one social media channel to focus on and one modality to use (like a blog, a podcast, a weekly reel, a monthly networking event, etc.), and be consistent with your visibility – one blog or podcast a week, one networking event a month.
Give yourself a break if you have a busy week and don’t get around to your visibility goal, things happen! I had all sorts of good intentions last year when I was renovating my house, but it took much longer than I thought, and my podcast and blogs had to wait until I was ready to get back to it after the building work. Life happens, so please be kind to yourself.
The good thing about consistency is that it builds relationships with your audience, and repetition of your blog, reel, podcast or live means people begin to expect it, to see you out there sharing your unique take on things. Consistency means your audience get more familiar with you and that builds your like, know and trust factor. To bring that consistency to your visibility, think of the habits you need to create and develop over time to make sure you don’t miss out. For me, I have focus hours every morning to write my blogs and then convert them into podcasts. I need a few hours every morning to create content in my most productive time and block out the distracting websites that tend to distract me. So what would work for you? What new habits would help you get into the groove and get yourself out there more?
And finally…
This work will take time because you are stretching that comfort zone, but you are creating connection, providing value and developing real relationships with your audience. You are stepping into the kind of business woman you want to become, that confident, capable version of you that is making a big difference with her work – that’s not to say you aren’t already all of those things, but maybe you want more of that confidence and capability in your life, you may want to be able to create content more easily, use that content to create freebies on your website, get used to being on camera so you can run online workshops and generally connect more with your audience so they buy from you.
And that’s a good thing…
Need help?
If you need help with your visibility or need to develop better habits, get in touch with me by email at hello@lynseyhanratty.com and I’ll provide some useful tips for you.
You can also get on a Clarity Call with me and we’ll discuss how to get out there more in a way that feels comfortable to you.
